London to Amsterdam

So after we arrive in London at about 9:20 local time. Luggage check-in for my easyJet flight closed at 9:50, so making that was really outside the realm of possibility.

Perhaps my description of Gatwick Airport in London would really be most concisely expressed in two categories: “waiting in line” and “copious puddles of blood.” In brief summary, Gatwick is a terrible airport and my time there was alternately frustrating and horrifying.

Firstly, there was a tremendously lengthy walk from the gate to the line for customs. I was literally speed walking for about twenty minutes. They have not yet invented the people mover. Then came the lines.

First, I stood in line at customs. I stood in this line for about an hour and fifteen minutes. It was moving at a reasonable speed, but it was about the longest line I’ve ever stood in. It’s only advantage in terms of entertainment were the steady supply of people walking down the line, realizing they’d have to be in it, and watching their horrified reactions.

The first order of business was to get my bags. I had to stand in line with a couple hundred people to see a tiny pair of monitors to tell me which luggage carousel to go to. There were five or six flights worth of baggage coming to one small carousel, and it was packed several people deep along all sides. There were people standing atop luggage to see over other people to get the rest of their things. This wasn’t a line; it was more competitive. A lot of jockeying for position, but I eventually got my stuff.

Next, I stood in line to see the monitors to tell me where the easyJet desk was, so I could tell them I missed my flight. Sea-Tac is extremely well-designed in that the airport counters stretch a very long way in a single line. At Gatwick, they’re in oddly shaped clumps around several cramped rooms and the lines run into each other at odd angles. This easyJet line was about half an hour. They were able to switch me to a later flight to Amsterdam at a reasonable price. Also, they told me where I could go to left luggage to store my other bag.

There was NO LINE at left luggage. This was the highlight of my time at Gatwick.

The next line I stood in was to check my hiking backpack to Amsterdam. They don’t do this at the airline desk like in Seattle; there’s a separate line for luggage check-in. This line was ridiculously slow and ultimately UNECESSARY. Apparently, they don’t do backpacks there, so they sent me to ANOTHER line for outsized luggage.

Then I had a sandwich.

Security was another hour and a half of waiting in line. Considering that we weren’t in the United States, it was ridiculous. A wonderfully entertaining British couple was behind me. They told me that this wasn’t typical, however.

At Gatwick, gates for planes aren’t announced until the plane arrives at the gate. As a result, dozens of people are forced to stand under monitors as “please wait” flashes next to their flight. Mine to Amsterdam was supposed to board at 14:35 (those crazy Europeans and their 14-o-clocks!) but this came and went as “please wait” continued to flash next to it. The airport staff just told us to be patient. I was inured to lines at this point, but some Hollander got pissed and started complaining loudly in Dutch. It was awesome.

So finally, the gate number went up and a huge crowd of us had to get to the other side of the airport. Thankfully, this area had people movers, so we were able to get there rather quickly.

However, in one of the walkways between people movers were several concerned and gloved custodians, who were cleaning up puddles and footprints of what was unmistakably blood. We all looked at each other nervously.

Well, the flight out was a half hour late (of course.) I arrived in Amsterdam at 5:20 local time, having planned to have been there about six hours earlier.